The Top 10 Ugliest Celebrities

I’m not a mean person by nature. But I am ridiculously good looking. Therefore, I have the right- scratch that; the duty, to make this list. Many of the celebs listed below would probably say “Look away- I’m hideous,” if ever faced with my beautiful visage. But alas, gaze upon the horrible freaks of my top 10 sideshow:

10. Steve Buscemi - I’m sorry Steve. You are an awesome actor, and I love everything you do in regards to film. Just try not to look directly into the camera because sometimes I just can’t take it.

9. Courtney Love - I know Kurt Cobain questioned his sexuality when he was younger, but he might as well have just gone ahead and been totally gay if this is where he was going with his heterosexuality. Gewwwww.

8. Carrot Top - Talentless, annoying and ugly. He’s a triple threat.

7. Lyle Lovett - To think of the women this creature has boinked hurts my head.

6. Amy Winehouse - Lay off the crack, honey.

5. Steven Tyler - No comment.

4. Donatella Versace - She needs those clothes just to make her tolerable looking. I call her “the face that launched a thousand shits.”

3. Clint Howard - Brutal.

2. Mickey Rourke - A bad motorcycle accident makes me feel kind of bad for listing him here. But then again, he did attempt to box for no apparent reason, which I’m sure didn’t help his looks. And he is a regular on the Miami club scene but he hasn’t seemed to discover shirts with sleeves as of yet. I will update you on his progress.

1. Michael Jackson - No brainer. Photography has been around for about 180 years, and recorded human history dates back to around the fourth millennium B.C. Mankind has been on the planet for a couple hundred thousand years. I would be willing to bet everything I have, which is a lot because I’m loaded, that M.J. is the ugliest human being of all time. Am I right, people? Yes, I think I am.