Top 10 Foreign Films

Some people, like Adam Schleichkorn, are so lazy that they refuse to see a movie with subtitles. Don’t worry, buddy, it’s not a book. There are pictures. Pathetic. Anyway, some of the greatest films ever made are from countries outside of the U.S. So, without any further ado:

10. Lock, Stock and 2 Smoking Barrels (England) - Guy Ritchie’s best film, in my humble opinion, and also the one that got Jason Statham notice from the American audience; Lock, Stock and 2 Smoking Barrels is the shit. It’s a masterfully weaved story with cool, bad ass characters; don’t worry Adam, this film is in English.

9. La Dolce Vita (Italy) - Arguably the greatest director of all time, Federico Fellini influenced the likes of Woody Allen and David Lynch, introduced surrealism to film, and just overall made a bunch of cool shit that Adam Schleichkorn simply wouldn’t understand (sorry but the film is a bit different from “Dumb and Dumber.”) This is one of Fellini’s films that just makes you wish you were born in Italy in mid- 20th century.

8. Irreversible (France) - If you thought “Memento” was a good film, you are correct. But check this film out; if you can stomach the scene in the middle of this film, and I don’t want to give it away, then you are a sick human being my friend. A disturbingly brilliant movie, “Irreversible” is a slick nightmare that will have your head spinning for at least 4 minutes after you see it. After that you can go back to your normal life, Adam.

7. Motorcycle Diaries (Argentina)- Hippies love Che Guevara. Hippies are stupid. This film is brilliant because it shows you the complexity of the human spirit. People aren’t just good or evil, as Bill O’Reilly and G.W. might have you believe. On the contrary, people are good and evil. This movie will make you cry, Adam, because it’s heartfelt and it draws sympathy for an intelligent character who had the best of intentions. However, hippies, if you actually took the time to really look into something instead of just wearing cool looking tee shirts and smoking weed all day, you would find out that Absolute power corrupts absolutely. That is why Cubans hate Che Guevara. His heart was in the right place, but once he gained power he became a fucking monster. You wouldn’t wear a shirt with Stalin’s face on it, would you?

6. City of God (Brazil) - Wow. When a film can make “Scarface” look like “The Muppets Take Manhattan” you know you’ve got a winner. And this is based on a true story. This movie was an eye-opening, frightening look into the lives of extremely poor kids living and dying in the barrios of Rio De Janeiro. Do yourself a favor and rent the dvd, but watch the extras with the real documentary about this area. You are no longer that tough to me, Snoop Dogg.

5. Persona (Sweden) - Ingmar Bergman. If you don’t know that name, and you call yourself a movie buff, here is the point in your life where you can now officially be ashamed of yourself. Have you ever seen “Fight Club” or “The Number 23” or any of the other 500 movies where the guy ends up being the same guy as the other guy in the end of the movie, but you knew that was what was going to happen about 20 minutes into the movie. Well, me too. But this was the first, and the best. See it, then thank me later.

4. Y Tu Mama Tambien (Mexico) - Hey, I must really like Gael Garcia Bernal, huh? This movie will make you cry. If there was one film I had to recommend to a space alien to watch to understand the human condition, I would pick this film, unless…

3. Ikiru (Japan) - I’m sorry, but as good as Y Tu Mama Tambien is, this is kind of the original. They are two completely different films, both unbelievably great in their own right. However, this one is slightly better. Why? Two words- Akira Kurosawa. If you watch Y Tu Mama and then Ikiru, you will enjoy life more from there on out. Don’t believe me? Watch them, then get back to me- you will understand my son.

2. 8 ½ (Italy) - Good enough for Woody Allen to parody (brilliantly, I might add) 8 ½ is all about inspiration. The modern movie goer, ie. Adam Schleichkorn, would probably walk out on this movie, but that really only speaks volumes on how awesome it actually is. Fellini- you da man.

1. Oldboy (Korea) - Have you ever read “The Count of Monte Cristo?” Not you Adam, I’m addressing the readers in the group. Yes, it is one of the best novels ever written. Oldboy, in all of it’s glory, is not a rip-off of The Count. It is however, in a way, a tribute to it. Add in the best fight scene I’ve ever seen, an original plot with twists and turns that aren’t copied from every other popular movie, and you have yourself my favorite foreign film of all time. Yes, Adam, I know you’ve seen this one. Good for you.