Top 10 Coolest People on Earth

Below you will find a list of the top 10 coolest people on earth. No more debate about this topic people- what I list below is final. So, without further ado:

10. Irvine Welsh - “Trainspotting” and “Porno” was the best book with sequel combo I’ve ever read- plus this guy wrote Acid House. Figure out how to get through the vernacular, and do yourself the biggest favor you’ve ever done for anyone and actually read these books. Magazines don’t count as reading by the way.

9. Jack Nicholson - From attacking that guy who cut him off with his golf clubs to telling the paparazzi he was going to “shove his face through the back of his skull,” I just can’t get enough of old Jack. Larry David once said that only two types of people wear sunglasses inside- blind people and assholes. Well he forgot about Jack Nicholson, who can actually pull it off without pissing me off.

8. Volunteers - I still don’t fully understand these people, as it seems they work for nothing. Better them then me, you know what I mean?

7. Women - Although they make us miserable about 28 out of 30 days a month, the other 2 days we actually have a shot at having sex. Now that’s a trade off I can almost live with.

6. Mos Def - He’s clearly the most talented person ever to emerge from the rap genre (rivaled only by Tupac). Incredibly intelligent, awesome style musically, and he can act his ass off. Give this man some damn respect O’Reilly!

5. Larry David - Creator of Seinfeld and Curb Your Enthusiasm; pretty much the 2 best shows ever on television. Plus he’s a Jew, or as we call them, a Good Fella.

4. Hiro Nakamura - Well, he is a fictional character. But if he was real…

3. Conan O’Brien - Who doesn’t love this dude?

2. Frank Abagnale Jr. - Yes, he’s the guy from “Catch Me if You Can.” And he’s a real fucking person. If you’ve seen the movie, and by the way, that movie is supposedly extremely accurate portraying the things he got away with and how he did it, you know that this guy is just the man. Nuff said.

1. George Carlin - Okay, aside from his book “Napalm and Silly Putty” basically serving as my bible for a short period of my life, he’s just one of those guys who has it all figured out. And he loves pointing out that you don’t. Gotta love it.