Top 10 Cartoons

I love cartoons- but not all cartoons are created equal. So, drum roll please… The top 10 Greatest Cartoons of all times:

10. Garfield and Friends - It’s an undeniable fact that Garfield is one of the greatest characters ever created. He sleeps all day, eats lasagna, and pretty much does whatever he wants to do. That fuckin’ dog never stood a chance.

9. Family Guy - I almost didn’t want to include Family Guy because after the original 3 seasons, which were incredible, this show came back on the air only to fall off the biggest cliff on planet earth. Everything that was so brilliant about the early episodes seemed to have been compromised to appease the increasingly unintelligent and ADD-ridden gen pop. Shout out to my man Inspector Gadget- I’m sneakin’ you in this party.

8. The Tick - Well before the movie “Mystery Men” and that dud of a show with Stan Lee on it, there was a Super Hero by the name of The Tick. The Tick, along with his bad-ass sidekick, Arthur, was responsible for cleaning up the mean streets of “The City”- always loved that. Yet another great cartoon that never should have been canceled.

7. Liquid Television - Aeon Flux, The Maxx, The Head, Beavis and Butthead (and later Daria). Sorry I had to throw these all in together, as they really were all great and completely able to stand on their own individual merits. Everyone knows Aeon Flux (thanks to the underwhelming movie that couldn’t hold a candle to the original cartoon), and everyone knows Beavis and Butthead. But if you don’t remember The Maxx or The Head, they are both totally worthwhile shows that kicked ass in their own unique ways. Check ‘em out, and do yourself a favor and watch the cartoon version of Aeon Flux to see what it was really about.

6. Space Ghost - Nothing better than getting way too high and watching this show- Space Ghost is probably the best talk show host ever, rivaled only by Conan O’Brien and maybe Johnny Carson. Sorry Johnny, but I’ve watched you after smoking a fat blunt and you just don’t do it for me like the ghost.

5. Batman - I’m talking about the original cartoon here, from the early 90s. Not the new crappy crap. This show was cool as hell and I’d still be watching it if they hadn’t turned it into goofy kiddie shit. I’m going to be a good father.

4. The Critic - I could probably just follow Jon Lovitz around all day and find it humorous. Even if he was just running errands and stuff. But this show was fantastic. Another cartoon that never should have been canceled.

3. Futurama - Why isn’t this show still on? Oh, that’s right, because it’s intelligent. Wouldn’t want anything like that on the air. I’m glad they replaced it with “I Love Bret Michaels.”

2. South Park - I could make an argument that this is the best cartoon ever- I don’t even think I really have to go into it; this is just one of the funniest shows ever to be put on TV. Everyone gets it on South Park, so much so that Isaac Hayes had to quit the show because they offended his boyfriend.

1. The Simpsons - I know you saw that coming, but, hey, what the hell? The show has fallen off- but the first 9 years were so perfect and so unbelievably funny that you have to give the show it’s respect. It truly defined a generation.

I know I didn’t mention Looney Toons. That’s why I’m mentioning it here. It laid the groundwork for the modern day cartoon, and we thank you, Mel Blanc. But you don’t get in my top ten even though Looney Toons is undeniably great. Life isn’t fair- deal with it.