Magic Johnson Smokes Crack

Yesterday, just before the Knicks-Jazz game in Utah, Magic Johnson met with long time friend Isiah Thomas. After emerging from Thomas’ locker room of tears, he was asked by reporters what was discussed. His answer shocked the world, as it is now apparent that Magic Johnson has turned to crack rocks to ease his pain. It seems Magic thinks the Knicks will not only make the playoffs this year, but will be a “tough 7 or 8 seed.” Put down the pipe Magic. He then went on to say that he watches every Knick game, while smoking a shit load of crack.

Well guess what Magic? I watch every game too. But I smoke a shit load of weed while watching, because it would be virtually unbearable to watch such filth any other way. I love the Knicks, because I have no life and I am clearly delusional. But you sir, have no right to make such absurd and abhorrent proclamations, first, without my consent, and second, while smoking so much crack. We’re just concerned Magic- please don’t force us to organize an intervention.